Piggelin

Nausea is keeping me from doing much now a days, such as blogging. I survive with the help of Piggelin popsicles - the only thing that seem to help, momentarily.

You give up a lot of things when you're a mother (to be). Such as birthdays.

My 33d birthday came and went. I spent it locked in our rental car in Rome, with the aircondition on full blast. Wifey wanted to see the Colosseum. Baby wanted to see the celing of the car and the inside of my eyelids. Baby won.
Besides being over heated, hungry, nauseous, exhausted, terrified that the cramps in my lower abdomen was an early sign of misscarriage, I still had the best birthday ever.
Married to the love of my life, pregnant and not having to show up for work. What more could one wish for?

Still, never go on vacation when you're newly pregnant. It's a total waste of money. All you manage to do is lay in bed and cry, wish you were home and could eat what you're craving, and obsess about misscarriages.
I was so miserable wifey started to remind me daily we were in Italy - not a third world country. Then she discovered a scorpion the size of a plum on our livingroom wall and agreed we should def. go home early.

We celebrated my birthday last night instead. I got a semi free pass from nausea most of the evening.
Wifey took me out for carrot cake and an authors night with Erica Jong. I dressed up, almost forgot I was nauseous and miserable and had a lovely, happy, evening.

Wifey also got me a Marimekko Pitekemäkko. A striped night gown I fell in love with on the ferry to Finland in my youth and dreamed I would sport as and old, rich, pregnant woman. ( In those days I imagine you needed to be rich to pay that much for a night gown. Now that I'm older and wiser, I know it's just about marrying the right woman).
And since wifey makes all my dreams come true, she took out her Ipod GPS and navigated to the Marimekko store.

So you see, I got all I wished for and more. I read (on the internet, where else?) that it can be difficult to be happy about your pregnancy when you're in the first trimester, tired, cranky and nauseous. Amen!

But sometimes, with a popsicle shoved in my mouth, and wifey rubbing my back, I'm the happiest I've ever been.

Raspberry baby in grapefruit womb...

Yes, that's right. According to the experts (google) my womb is now the size of a grapefruit. Do you people realize how big a grapefruit is? Try shoving it down your pants the next time you're in the grocery store. It's HUGE. (Yes, I actually tried it myself, not in the store but later at the house).

I had a miscarriage crises a week ago, but have calmed down now. Baby seems to be doing just fine. I feel constantly sick. "Morning" sickness is obviously just a phrase invented to lure women into pregnancy. It should really be referred to as 24/7 sickness, which would more properly describe it.
I can't even remember what it felt like not to be constantly nauseous.
How am I to function like a normal human being, feeling like this? Ok, I forgot. I'm not normal anymore. I'm somebody's mother.

Another noveau experience is violent nightmares. I scared wife half to death by screaming bloody murder and throwing myself on the floor w all the bedding approx. 15 min after I went to sleep the other night. Wifey got me back in to bed, still asleep I darted out of it again ( like a bat out of hell, Meatloaf might say). Wifey then tried to tuck me in tight to keep me off the floor, which made me half-way wake up and hiss at her " don't touch me! I feel nauseous!".
Wifey said she felt comforted by me acting like myself again and let me be.
Me? I don't remember a thing. For all I know I had a peaceful and restful night's sleep. Me and my raspberry.

I can hear the bells!

Tomorrow I'm a married woman and Klumpis will no longer be a bastard but a child born within a marriage.
Not a cilvil partnership, not a gay marriage but a proper marriage. Since Sweden came to her senses and made marriage gender neutral.

There is a lot of stress going into a wedding of course. But I'm mostly floating around in my own little bubble.
My body is whispering to me. I have baby growing inside me. How can I be bothered by life's petty details? All that matter is that Klumpis keeps growing, that wifey shows up tomorrow and that we survive until we're on our way to our honeymoon.

The weather is awful, we were hoping for an outdoor wedding. There is still hope I suppose. But I'm glad we got heaters for the tents.

Klumpis is now approx 3 weeks old. 5 weeks if you count the medical way. I think I'm gonna celebrate her 3 week conception-day w a nap.