My head is spinning...

...from all the things I'm supposed to do and not do, eat and not eat, feel and not feel. And while you're trying to do all this doing and avoiding, remember to not stress out, since stress is harmful to you and your baby.

Btw, also do not google for pics of you fetus at a certain week. You will come across a bunch of pics of aborted fetuses and start crying. Again.
The picture is a model (not an actual fetus) of approx how big babys feet are right now. I wonder what size that is?

I had a moment the other night with wifey where I managed to forget everything about the pregnancy and felt like myself again for a couple of minutes. (Yes, she is a good kisser). But mostly, I'm so wrapped up in this I don't know where to begin. I'm too tired and nauseous to cook, but of course take away food and prepackade food is unhealthy/harmful for your baby. I can't eat bread anymore and just the thought of cheese makes my stomach turn. (It's Italy. Do those people ever eat anything that doesn't involve cheese, tomatoe or white bread?). So that rules out the sandwich strategy.

I'm so sensitive to smell, even wifeys empty coffee cup in the kitchen makes me want to vomit when I'm in the livingroom. (We def. need to get a bigger place).

Doing the dishes makes me sick. But having the dishes undone makes me even sicker. How does anyone survive being pregnant without having a live-in maid?

I worry about my astma being bad for the baby. I worry about the delivery since the more I read, the more I realize that absolutley everything I've wished for myself for my delivery is forbidden in this country (homebirths, waterbirths, birthing centers, having the same midwife during the pregnancy and delivery, or just having a constant midwife during the delivery, not having hospital staff and interns run in and out of your room, having some - ANY - kind of privacy and resemblance of a natural child birth, postponing cutting the umbilical cord until it stops pulsating, being left alone with your baby for an hour or two and not having it taken away to have baths and being weighed etc etc etc etc. Do I need to go on or do you get the picture? ).

Ok. It's time to not freak out. I'm sure we'll manage (survive) somehow. I'm sure my baby won't have cerebral palsy just because I used to work with handicaps in my youth and dreaded every minute of it. There is probably diffrent strategies at different hospitals and I might not need to run off and hide in the woods to birth my baby the way I want. That would be a bad idea btw since it will be birch pollen season and I will be allergic.

I'm just gonna take a deep breath. Trust that baby is feeling amazing (and that's why I feel so crappy). And do something about the things that's in my control. Like cleaning my messy house.

Also survived first day at work yesterday. It went ok besides not finding anything to eat for lunch and ending up eating a pre-packaged chicken sallad. Just to read this morning in my new pregnancy book that you should avoid prepackaged food. Especially chicken.
Oh well baby, I hope you have a strong genetic foundation and will survive all the things I put you through.