#1 Sweden vs. Denmark; the Way of the Swedes - Part 2

Ah, my attempt at a structured blog post, became instead my most un-structured ever.
I don't know if I should blame the fatigue, or just the bureaucratic system.
As our midwife in Denmark said; they had clients from Russia, Italy, Germany etc. And no other system was as difficult to understand and keep up with as the Swedish. So they had given up trying.

One thing I forgot about the Swedish experience is that before you are allowed to start the IUI process, you need to meet with a councellor at the hostpital.

The councellor (a meek woman with a lose handshake, according to reliable sources)will then interview you according to standard form.
Standard form meaning the same questions they ask straight, infertile couples.
Such as; for how long have you tried to concieve a baby etc. And yes, they do know that you are a lesbian couple; it says on the referral. (You didn't just bring your sister because your husband had to work).
But protocol is protocol. Everyone has to follow the rules.

Another thing that differs with lesbian couples vs. straight couples is that you actually have two potential birthmothers.
However, since there is only one birthmother in a straight couple, only one woman of the lesbian couple is allowed to inseminate.
There is no going back once you've chosen who's going to carry the baby. If you are unfortunate and can't conceive, your partner is not allowed to have a go instead. Also, if you or your partner already have a donor child prior, the other is not allowed to have a baby within the system.

So, how come there are no private options in Sweden? If you really DO want to pay to be able to forgo this uncertain, unproductive and uncomfortable process?

It's against the law. It doesn't matter that it won't cost the state a krona. (I guess it would actually make them a bunch of tax money instead). It is just not allowed. And as long as our social minister is a right-wing born again Christian, I don't see much changes coming on.
There is just not much interest in adapting the process to same-sex families. I get the feeling you should just be grateful you are let in at all.

I don't know what the climate is like in Denmark. But they left a loophole in the law. The law in Denmark states only medical doctors are not allowed to inseminate besides following certain procedures.
Leaving the midwifes free to baby-bless as many lesbians, singel women and star-families as they have time to.

So that's why we all pack up and go to Denmark.