I am extremely happy to report that the smiley showed up despite of nursing and weird cycles. It even showed up on the same cycle day and the SAME CLOCK HOUR as the cycle when we made baby J.
How about that!?
I trusted my instinct. I wasn't supposed to test until the following morning, but I had this nagging sense I should. And, well, what can I tell you? It's def. time to start dealing with the birth trauma and start trusting my body again.
It will tell me all I need to know. Through millions of years of evolution and foremothers my body has primed itself to tell me what I and my babies need. It doesn't matter that modern maternity care and medical birth professionals won't listen. I need to. Because this divine invention I can call my own is beconing me into motherhood once again. And all I can do is follow it's lead and rejoice.
I have one amazing little person that my body has created, and now we might have another one. The ovulation stick is smiling, and so do we!
We can try for another baby!!!
We are so exited!
So now all wifey and I want for Christmas is a little grain of baby rice growing in my womb and in our hearts.
As for what baby J wants; I'm sure it will be difficult to get a sibling. But he is also very fond of babies and loves company. I think he will be a wonderful big brother.
Though I'm not too sure how he will feel about nursing with competition.
My dream is to continue nursing baby J through pregnancy and then tandem nurse until he is ready to let go himself.
We will see how it works out. This first pregnancy and breastfeeding experience has taught me to be humble to the circumstances.
We will just see how it goes.
We are going to try for a baby next cycle. If we get all the paperwork and blood tests in order before that.
AMAZING!
I have also decided that this pregnancy will be celebrated as the miracle it is. I will not have another anxious pregancy and traumatic birth.
This time I will be strong, centered and confident.
This time I will take care of myself, my body, my growing baby and baby J.
This time I will protect my mind, my body, my heart and my children.
And I will give birth at home in a safe and calm environment. And the hospital can keep their kaos, drama, stress and inductions.
My next baby will have the birth and the mother it deserves. A mother that protects. A mother that is strong. A mother that trusts her body and her instincts and acts accordingly. I will never again be bullied into having a birth that is harmful and traumatic to me and my baby.
I will never again lose myself and my baby to other peoples whims and opinions.
This pregnancy and birth will be a healing journey.
