Week 39 +3

...and no baby in sight. I sometimes have a slight hint of something similar to cramps. But it's very vague and only comes sporadic 1-3 times a day.

When and how birth starts seems to be so different for different women.

Baby is moving in calm and soft ways. She did however make a little jump last night. Probably practicing for birth.

Now that I decided it's OK for her to come, the waiting has begun. I see it as my main job right now to keep rested and well-fed, incase I would go into labour.

There is still a lot of pollen around, but I'm so grateful for the weather.
It's cold, grey and raining/snowing.
It feels like balm for this over heated preggo who's been boiled alive in this tiny appartment during the summerheat we had over Easter.
It's perfect weather for getting cosy and sleeping in. Just what Baby and I need to recouperate after the hospital circus.

I even have the peace of mind to read novels. Can't remember when that last happened? Before we started to search for a donor?

Bye Bye Baby Bump...

How I have loved being pregnant!
I don't remember the nausea, the fatigue, the anxiety or the fears. I remember Baby gently nudging me awake in the morning and moving around as I fall asleep at night. I remember that time she had the hick-ups which kept me up all night. I remember the first time she kicked wifey's hand. Or that time, long, long ago when I felt her like the bubbles of mineral water inside me, and dared to hope it was her.
I remember carrying her under my heart, protected from the outside world in our own little bubble of love.

And now it's only days away from being over. And I have to say goodbye to this period of our lives together and move into the unknown.

Because I've had such a lovely 3d trimester (when I finally got to do what I wanted all along; SLEEP)I have tried to answer politely to all the comments I've recieved since about week 34; It's almost over now! Hang in there! Any day now!
And I thought; but I don't WANT it to be over. I want to be here for ever. Loving every second of Baby's and mine loving co-existance. Undisturbed by work, clock-hours, expectancies to do anything else but marvel in complete awe of this miracle growing inside me.

The hospital stressed me out, the midwife and wifey told me to tell Baby to come out now. And I was so not ready to let her go.
I held my bump protectivly as tears streamed down my face by the thought of this pregnancy and birth taken from me. Being induced, having all those strangers turn my dream into a nightmare with their harsh words, cold hands and matter-of-fact-medical view of birth.

I am so thankful we got out of the hospital and that my body has calmed down. Now Baby can come when she pleases. And I have tried to mentally let go of my bump, started to long for Baby to come out. (It also helps to see all those baby pictures on Facebook of new born babies my friends have had lately).

So Good Bye to my pregnancy and bump;

Week 39 + 1

Back for a short update after radio silence.

Baby and I are fine, despite being pulled into one traumatizing hospital event after another these past weeks.

My blood pressure goes crazy just thinking about it. So I try to put it to the back of my mind and focus on our little water creature, working towards joining us on the outside.

Just got home from our check up at the midwife's office; baby is fixated (hurray! that must be why I've felt a bit of cramps lately), has excellent heartbeats, my blood sugar is excellent, blood pressure is normal (130/85) albeit on the high side, +1 on proteins which is fine, and iron levels actually up to 120 which is NORMAL! (And eventhough I've skipped the supplements lately due to the hospital drama).

I think my body is telling me that both Baby and I should be ready to go! I'm finally starting to get mildly uncomfortable; Baby is streching those ligaments under my ribs a bit. I can't sleep on one side for too long, my hips starts to hurt and I need to turn over.
I'm so glad I have the entire bed to myself, so I can roll around freely, it helps a lot. I feel like those nasty sausages they have at 7/11 that constantly rolls around.
I think it's excellent my hips are getting lose and that I sometimes feel some cramps and pelvic pains. Way to go body!

Also, Baby is so much calmer now. Poor thing was all hysterical when we were in and out of the hospital. (Probably because I was so upset, frightened, allergic, astmatic, sleep deprived and devastated).
I did a "kick-o-gram" over Baby since she got so immensly restless during this period. In 10 mins she moved/kicked/punched 13 times. And while I was sitting there, hands on my abdomen, feeling my little darling raising hell under my hands, the hospital staff told me over and over again that she probably wasn't fine, that she even might die if we didn't check her with machines.
So we did (NST or CTG in Swedish) over and over again. And each time my little dancer got top score. Each time she moved more than the technology allowed me to register with the little button I was to press everytime I felt her.
She was too fast for the machines, life can never be messured by imperfect instruments.
My little darling out ran them all.

Person 26 we met (yes, I am not joking, we met 26 different doctors, nurses and midwives during our hospital stay) was finally a resonable doctor who let us go home.

Baby and I have rested and slept most of the time. Poor wifey. One minute I can be up and about, planning our lovely Sunday together; the next minute I can crash and go into deep sleep for the rest of the afternoon.
Must be fun to live with a preggo.

It's a bit difficult to grasp that within days/week(s)I'll be having Baby here, outside with me.

I so much wanted to do some birth art (yes, I'm just a big hippie at heart), as in Birthing from Within;


I might just get my acrylics out and focus on painting and napping until birth starts. Baby is apparently doing an excellent job working her way down my pelvis. All I have to do is find my focus and center again. Eat well, sleep well, avoid pollen and wait for Baby to arrive.

Being in and out of the hospital so many times, we've packed and unpacked our bag about 5 times, so I'm not the least bit stressed about leaving it unpacked until it's time to go.
Wifey has become quite the professional after all these "dress rehearsals" and can get everything together in record time. She has been such a rock through all the craziness.
She is the most amazing person I have ever met and I am so thankful she is my wife.

We both dream about a vacation in the sun when all this is over and Baby is a bit older.
We have this fantasy of the three of us in the shade, gazing out over the sea. Baby snuggly nursing or napping. The warmth, the peacefulness, the relaxation. Our little water creature close to the sea. All of us lulled to sleep by the soothing rythm of the waves.

By the way, both of us have dreamed lately about Babys birth, and that she is a boy. Very interesting...