And So We Meet Again...

Remember the extreme tiredness from pregnancy #1?
It's back! With an extra side order of toddler intensity.

As I promised, both myself, wifey, Toddler J and my midwife, I would take better care of myself this pregnancy. Meaning going on sick leave when too tired to work.
Oh, the anxiety. Martin Luther (the old one, not Dr King)is rolling over in his hard working grave.

Besides asthma, allergies and being low in iron, I can now add an underactive thyroid to the list of possible fatigue causers.
My best bet is asthma and allergies, since I was this exhausted last pregnancy too, without the thyroid going crazy.
I felt better towards the end, which my asthma doctor later told me was very common when it came to pregnancy and asthma.

So here I am. Barley in week 12 and on sick leave.
I feel relieved to not have to sit at work and take care of other people while just wanting to die myself from feeling exhausted, nauseous and stressed out.
I feel guilty for being on sick leave and not working to support myself like a proper person.
But, as I tell my patients daily, anxiety will pass in time.

Now I will take a well needed nap while Toddler J is out in the sun w grandma.

The Hunger Game

...when you just can't go back to sleep at 5.30 in the morning because you just HAVE to EAT.

2 rye bread sandwiches w cheese (yes, I can eat cheese this time)later I feel more like a human being and less like a black hole ready to implode of hunger.

As for the nausea. If it's anything like the last time; just 3-4 more weeks to go! (Yes I know it might seem like a lot, but it is a WHOLE lot better than having 8 weeks to go!)

Besides being able to eat cheese, the biggest difference this pregnancy is that I'm still nursing toddler J. It is not as uncomplicated as I thought it would be.
The nausea and over all pregnancy sensitivity makes nursing pretty miserable for mama. As for toddler J; the more I pull back, the more desperately he wants to nurse.
Of course, it could be a normal increase, due to us spending more time apart when I work etc. Had I not been nauseous and miserable I might not have given it a second thought.

I still let him nurse, of course. But try to distract him with other things when possible. Hopefully it will feel better once the nausea settles.

Ok. Gotta go. Toddler J is pulling at my leg and calling for attention.

Leap Forward...

... bouncing back is out of style.

The phantom signs were my new little rose announcing her presence.

This pregnancy will be same, same but different. I have decided to not go crazy this time. Not be anxious. Not terrified. What will be will be. I will try to enjoy my baby and have peace of mind this time.

It is not easy when you feel sick 24/7 and just want to crawl away under a blanket to die. I have told wifey this is def. the last time I'm pregnant. I'm sick of feeling sick, I'm sick of feeling exhausted, I'm sick of being bound by someone either living in my body or feeding off of it, or both. After almost 3 years, I'm ready to have some space of my own back.

That's when you call in Grandma to babysit so you can enjoy your nausea without energetic Toddler J jumping at your belly at the same time.

Do I sound ungrateful? I don't mean to.

I am ofcourse superhappy to be pregnant. It couldn't have come at a better time, for a myriad of reasons.

The Danish midwife who told us not to try. "You can not become pregnant" were her exact words over the phone. First; stop breastfeeding, second; wait for at least 6 months. That was their advice.
Their weary eyes when we showed up anyway.

Well... what can I say?
Trust your bodies ladies, not statistics!
Leap forward!