"Baby J, I Am Your Father..."

Some time ago, wifey got baby J a Yoda doll. (Wifey is a hard core Star Wars fan since childhood). At first baby J was scared of the doll(who can blame him?). As he grew older, he came to love it. As soon as he sees it he bursts out lauging. (Yoda does look kind of funny). This past month Yoda had been left alone in our country house, while the rest of us spent 2+ weeks in the city. When baby J was reunited with his doll he shrieked with joy, burried his head in the dolls plush face and yelled " PA-PA!". OK. Is it time start worrying that the Star Wars influence on this family is getting a bit too much? I mean, yes, we might not be an ordinary nuclear hetero family. But I'm not too fond of the idea of my son growing up thinking a Yoda doll is his father. Wifey, on the other hand, is thrilled.

The Beard Issue

Some women do grow beards, and some men don't. But let's be gender normative and assume that beards belong to the male population. As such, beards might very well be something that fathers usually wears.
Which leads us to the brilliant conclusion of how to manage the absence of fathers in (most) lesbians families. In the manner of Santa Clause (who visits Swedish children on Christmas Eve) one could simply, as a lesbian mother, slip out of the house, claiming to buy a news paper. (In the 70's it was still PC to claim to go out to buy cigarettes). You then put on the beard you stashed somewhere convenient and re-appear in the household as a HO HO HO daddy.

If your significant other is attracted to bearded ladies, the beard might also come in handy on Date Night.

This, and other important issues, as when to call the social services on each other, is what we discuss at lesbian mama group.

A Black Marker...

...is a very handy tool if you are a Lesbo Mama and want to protect your child from feeling like an outsider before he even has a language.
For baby Js christening we got a baby book; those where you fill in blanks of height, weight, family tree etc. Of course there are blanks for mother and FATHER, of which baby J has zero.
Enter black marker and a little editing.

For Christmas baby J got a baby book with a cranky baby. How very suiting for our little tooth crank. Until cranky book baby started looking for his PAPPA.
Enter back marker, a little editing and now cranky book baby is looking for his MAMMA instead. She's in the kitchen making dinner. Sporting a beard.

Soon enough baby J will realize that a lot of babies have a mother and a father. And that society at large think this is the most desirable form of family.

But until he atleast has a language for his feelings and perceptions, I want to protect him from the stereotyped world and make him feel completely loved, safe and normal in his very ordinary family of 2 mothers.

Happy Belated New Year!

New Years Eve with a baby. Let me rephrase that; New Years Eve with a tooth-cranky baby. After putting baby J to sleep over and over again, it was 3 o clock in the morning and we realized that we were not going to get any "grown up time" and celebrate the New Year. We headed off to bed instead.

Earlier, at the magic struck of midnight I was stuck in bed breastfeeding the cranky little man, and had been for the past 45 mins. Wifey came with a wine glass of sparkly water and asked if I wanted a straw so we could toast the New Year.

As my friend A said; New Years is never the same after you have a baby. She has two and obviously knows what she is talking about.

Well, not being able to celebrate New Years (I accidently wrote New Tears, Freudian slip?), is no reason not to have a list of resolutions.

In 2012 I will;

Be a better Mama and take baby J to open pre-school more often
Obviously lose a ton of weight
Get more sleep (might need a miracle for that one)

I will let you know how it all works out!

Open Pre-School; Rainbow Edition

Once in a while I try to get myself and our unstructured days together and head over to the open preschool with my social son.
There are many open preschools in Stockholm; but only one for Rainbow families. Unfortunately I lost my sense of direction, along with my balance, during pregnancy, so we usually have a hard time locating it. (Also I gained vertigo and can't look out of windows higher up than 3d floor any more, there goes a room w a view...)

The first time we went we counted on the other mothers to be better equipped (e.g. with smart phones). Still we ended up lost and walked around for about an hour before we found the right place. We managed to get there before it closed but missed the big event; baby song.

The second time we headed out in good time to make it to the baby song. I even thought that baby J would have time to eat his lunch before it started. Ha!
We didn't get lost, but it sure was farther off than we remembered.

We actually made it in time for baby song. But as soon as all the babies and mamas got organized in a ring and started singing, baby J needed to nurse. Then he needed to poop. Then he needed to nurse some more. Then baby song was over.

Baby Js love interest, baby F, had better stamina and attention span and participated for about 2 min in the song session. Then she needed to throw up, on her mother, who then needed to clean up herself and baby F. Then she needed to poop (baby F, not her mother). Then baby song was over.

Oh well. Maybe next time.

After all the nursing, pooping and eating, baby J did a very successful solo performance on the baby guitar and rainbow xylophone. Excellent start of a career as a successful musician who can support his old mamas in style come the winter of their lives.

Mother's Best Friend

Out goes sugar, in comes coffee! My dear old friend. Banned since before trying to concieve and in the first months of breastfeeding. Now a regular guest just to keep alive through the days and semi-nights.
Baby J is a joy but also a handful. I promised many things before actually having a baby. Never let the child watch TV, never be unfocused when the child wants attention (which, by the way, is all waking hours for you non-parents out there), never distract the child when crying, never be online when the child is awake...yadi yadi ha! (For those of you thinking of calling the child protective services I can assure you the little angle is fast asleep as I write this).

Last night was wifey's office christmas party. Baby J thought he'd make a night of it too. He had quite the party going here for about 3 hrs past his bedtime. Then he fell asleep. For 20 mins. And then he started all over again.
Atleast he was happy.
There are a lot of exciting things to do in the middle of the night for a 7 month old; suck on your big toe, tickle yourself, try to rip off your diper, dismantle the household telephone, eat the cell phone, chew on wrapping paper, pinch mama's double chin, refuse to breastfeed, sound like a parrot on crack etc etc etc.

I don't know how we will get through this day. But somehow, with a cup or 5, we might even get some christmas shopping done. But for now, I'm just gonna let him sleep while I stare into space and enjoy the silence.

The Miracle of Mama Love

This made me cry;

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