Pollen Season...

...seems to never end. I'm usually not that sensitive to grass pollen. But when I'm pregnant I seem to be super sensitive to everything. Still, I'm going to try to go for a 5K walk. Will be very interesting to see how long it takes me, as I get contractions when I walk too briskly.
I'm not really worried, the contractions are mild, doesn't hurt, but still makes it impossible to strech out in a long, good power walk. Any walking is preferable to just being sendentary though.

And I must admit I do enjoy walking extra much when concidering that I could instead be exhausted in my office on an uncomfortable chair, trying to get work done while just wanting to cry. I.e. last pregnancy.

So much is different this time. I have no aches and pains as I did last time. I get to rest when ever I need, which makes the fatigue easy to handle. My asthma is bothersome some days, but since I don't need to stress, keep a schedule or exert myself, it's not really a problem either.

Lesson learned. When listening to the body and meeting it's needs, even medical problems (such as allergies/asthma/fatigue) becomes minor distractions.

Wifey and Toddler J have started going out to our country house for whole days. Which also gives me unlimited time off. The sort of time I haven't had since... God knows, probably before we started to search for a donor, or perhaps even before I met wifey.

I noticed that this morning when they left, my first impuls was not to crash on the sofa and take a nap/watch TV. But I actually have some energy to go do something. There fore the idea of the 5K walk.

I'm also hoping that it might be allergy season drawing to an end, giving me more energy.

A wonderful schedule would be to walk 5K every day and do prenatal yoga atleast every other day. I've signed on to fitocracy.com to give me some motivation and accountability. I don't care if I crawl around 5K and it takes me 2 hrs (instead of the 45 min it takes me when not pregnant). I just want to get moving to get ready for birth.

I had coffee w a friend the other day. She said that all I could do was prepare as best I could for my birth and the just let things happen the way they would.
I agree, ofcourse, since preparing until exhaustion is my usual strategy in life. But... it also made me reflect on my own behavior.
Being very active can sometimes be a negative behavior. If my goal is to be relaxed and focused come child birth. Perhaps the best way to reach that goal is NOT to do a million things to "prepare" and have a high tempo in live. Perhaps it is much more constructive to play w Toddler J, clear the strawberry patch from weed, bake a raw food snack for afternoon tea etc

When watching the Birth Story documentary I noted that the women giving birth naturally did not take a zillion classes, educated themselves to exhaustion on every possible angle of child birth, did not even have prenatal yoga classes.

That, in combination with the hypnobirthing woman backing out of our agreed course w 4 days notice, made me change my perspective.

What happened with the hypnobirthing dissappearing was a bit of shock actually. I had counted on working through my birth trauma with hypnosis, and having the hypnobirthing tools for my next child birth as an important part of my birth plan. After crying for a week, I just let it go.

It was not a very professional thing to do. The hypnobirthing instructor asked me to describe my birth trauma via e-mail (as she said; so she could do a hypnosis treatment based on it), and then she just back out last minute. Saying she could not work on the trauma since I was pregnant. She knew I was pregnant from the start. I really don't understand.
What I do understand however is that I am better off without having to waste any more time or any money on this person.

It is too late to book anyone else now. Summer is here and everyone is on vacation.

I will just have to do this on my own.

And, so what. Women have given birth for the entire history of mankind without classes and "preparations".

And when my friend said that thing of being prepared I thought.
Well. My job is to keep calm, confident and deliver the baby. The midwifes job is to over look the birth for any signs of things not progressing normally. I don't have to worry. I don't HAVE to do a million things to prepare for every imaginable scenario.

I just have to give birth to my baby. And that, I know, I can do.

Until then, I will do things that makes me feel relaxed and strong, such as walking, swimming, yoga, eating well, resting and enjoying life.

Too bad I didn't get to do the hypnobirthing course. But I have my cd's and will just have to use them as a way of practicing relaxation without any additional course material. It will be fine. I think all those years of dance training and body awareness will probably be a better resource than any 3-day course.

And no amount of courses or preparation can give you what you need the most. Which is faith in your bodys ability to birth normally.